youd never know whats behind the weird laugh.

me: "ow.. my tummy and throats killing me"
steph: "eh. but you were laughing your ass off just a minute ago"
me: "i know.. that doesnt mean im not hurt does it?"
steph: "i thought you were well already.. T_T' "

thats an example^^' happened just today. i looked just fine except for the fact that my voice sounds.. weird cos of my blocked nose and sore throat when i was joking around with friends. but yeah, i still wasnt feeling well. people thought i got better from the morning; i looked so dead and sick especially with my voice.

but a miracle happened.. once again foods save my life! thank youu.. i love you, foods.. so much that i cant live without you! --no im not fat incase youre wondering. but come on, its a fact, you cant live without foods. ehheh.

but then again.. "every good things must come to an end" --lets get to the point.. we cant perform in the effing pesta kampoeng! T_T'''' *gasp* i know.. how sad. im so very disappointed. dont ask me why we cant perform.. cos it might not be final yet. i aint giving up! we will perform. now thats final. even tho we'll perform somewhere else, but we will. even tho the event is smaller.. but yeah.. at least we will. and besides, every big things starts with little tiny stuff --most of 'em anyway..
So.. wish us the best of luck to perform.

~`JJe~ <33




I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT!!

la di da im in a bad mood now ^_^ innit interesting how my mood can flipped 180 degrees in a couple of hours? i wonder if thats what you call 'mood swings'? *blinks* *sniffs*
i.. hate stuff. like the way im sick and people kept on putting me down and compare me to other people. well yeah they or maybe even YOU can be better than me, but im not making any goals to be better than you or other people. i have my own life, my own ways, my own style, my own self. leave it that way. yah.. let me complain.

ye so.. --I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT! I LIKE TO MOVE IT IT! I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT! YA LIKE TO.. MOVE IT!! *starts singing i like to move it with the horrible sick voice*--aaa.. i feel so screwed especially how im sick like this T_T'''

~`JJe~ <33




i sound like a guy whos having a flu -.-'

at least theres a voice coming out when im talking today. unlike last night, i have to actually work hard to just speak up a word. but still, i sound like a guy whos having a flu. not pitchy and high guy's voice. the low one. egh. some people like to have that voice though.. well its sort of unusual and unique for a girl's voice like me (tehee^^'') but its still hard for me to speak up.

i feel like eating oranges.. and im hungry. i feel like being alone at home with a cold and misty weather and a hot chocolate with music on and eating oranges and yummy foods.. but my boring brothers right infront of me starring at the monitor and doing some stuff whatever that is. i ended up going to school today btw. owell, id be bored and annoyed to death if i stay at home with my brother anyway.

*sniffs* i cbb typing more stuff now.. *sniffs*
~`JJe~ <33

-Edited-
i feel like a fuking transexual(sp?) T_T'' thanx for convincing me that dev, it really helps me with the effing flu and sore throat i have. not to mention im getting on with the friken bad mood. ill be moody tomorrow trust me. *roll eyes*





me and my obsession with tallness and other things to say..

im glad my height is average and not too short. and im glad im not too tall. but still you see.. im OBSESSED about my height. and i would love to be just at least 5 cm taller than my actual height. maybe i always feel so short because i hang out with people that are older than me for 1 or 2 or 3 years. obviously i am short compared to them. but then again, if i compare it to other people in my year.. im not that short.. well average anyway. but i still feel small. i wanna be taller. but not too tall for my age. like ria.. i admire her bloody height. shes damn tall. id love to be tall like her. but if i compare to the rest of her age (like me and other people) shes too tall T_T no offence. its not a bad thing though.. but it does makes people jealous.. like me.. tehee^^ so id rather be tall, but not too tall. and itd be hard for me to find a guy. ahhahah. cos i dont want a guy thats shorter than me. ehheheh..^^

anyway.. surprisingly, i am SICK right now. yes im sick. sick as physically. not those 'pissed off' sick. i lost my oh so wonderful (not) voice. it goes bloody deeper and.. rough and you can barely hear it. my throat hurts.. its dry. and my ears are burning. and im not feeling that well. i wanna cough but i cant and when i cough it hurts T_T'''' my nose is sort of blocked.. a little. and my body temperature is i think a little bit higher than usual. cos i feel hot but cold. dang! why do i have to be sick in a great time like this? why not when im pissed off and in a bad mood like the days before on weekdays? i know it will feel worse.. but then.. if im not in a bad mood, which i am not right now, its ruining my day! i cant use my weirdly happy personality because of this damn sickness! T_T''''

i hope im well tomorrow. school is boring, but i dont wanna suffer this sickness at home doing nothing with music on.. chatting.. hot chocolate.. eat yummy foods... alone at home (or maybe not) ...a time for myself.. cleared mind with no algebras or maths or assignments or any school works in my head..... --its not that bad after all.. but i dont like this physically unwell feeling. but id be in a bad mood if im well at school anyway. argh whatever. im wearing black eyeliner btw^-^'' i was trying them on last night with dev. it didnt look too bad, so we tried another one today. --dont you friken call me emo or goth cos am not. shut up. and the other reason is that its still stuck from yesterday.. im tired now and i wanna eat.

~`JJe~ <33




i kept on hoping that someone new will come up and change things again.

im feeling so weak and lazy and.. HUNGRY T_T'''
--a new student came and i have to be her buddy. it wasnt that bad, cos i didnt do school works that much. i took her around the school, went around to the head teachers, and yeah.. stuff like that. shes from Hong Kong. shes nice and that. her names Katrina. when i was sent to the office, i thought i was in trouble or something and i thought it was something unimportant. but then when the person told me, i was relieved. when i first hear the name katrina though, i was hoping shes asian and especially INDONESIAN. but er.. infortunately shes not. owell, i thought thats the reason i got choosen to be her buddy. hm, owell. i was hoping shed be the new 'ria' not the same, but i mean.. you know what i mean.. how we're close to each other and everything. yeah well, but then again, maybe i wouldnt get it if im actually waiting. hm. --ahha.. i feel so redicilous now though, its so stupid to think like that. i feel lame now. no one can replace your close friend even though 'replace' isnt exactly the word im looking for. the word that i mean is.. *thinking* 'another' yeah, i think. ugh, screw me. nevermind. i feel so very lame and stupid now.

oh, and this chick i saw at my school. i dunno her really. but we saw each other for a couple of times. and god damnit. she bloody copied my fringe! T_T''' if you compare it to mine, it does looks a bit different, cos hers is a little tiny bit longer and her hair is damned straight. but its actually the same style, the exact bloody friken damned style. mine looks a little different cos my hair is sort of wavy. and hers is completely straight. but its MY style of fringe. argh. its copyrighted! >=| (lol, i know i sound stupid) its not just a fringe you know.. its.. a friken damned fringe! because no body in my whole wide school has the same fringe --even hair as mine! and now there is! you friken effing damned biatch whoever you are! T_T''''''''''' when i saw her, i can noticed that i have the confused and "what the hell?!" look. she saw me, and she just starred at me for a second and looked away, pulling her friends. what the eefff?! she sooooo has her fringe inspired by me. at least gimme a credit or something! T_T'''''''' if you think im just over reacting.. think again. youll see when youre actually on my shoes. im a little.. well not a little. ive been moody lately and shes putting more pressure on my shoulder. ha. joke. she just made my mood worse thats all. shes not putting pressure at all i just exaggerated that. tehhee^^'''' --but im still a little moody right now. so yeh..

~`JJe~ <33




i hope i can stop, rewind, fast foward and repeat the favourite scenes in this damn life.

i wish! yes, infact, i do wish so. i really do. my mood and everything gotten worse by the day for some reason.. T_T'' last night was the effing third time i dreamt of falling. first one was somewhere around last week. then the day after that. then last night. damnit. im so bored of that tingly feeling you have in your tummy when youre falling down from a tall height. cos in those three dreams, i can actually feel myself falling even though i sort of knew it was a dream. but i couldnt opened my eyes when i wanted to o_0

okieay.. last night was worse than just falling actually. when i was about to hit the ground, again i woke up, but then i realised it was still dark outside. so.. cant be bothered checking what time, i fell back asleep. then in my dream, i was in a dark alley with er.. weird people. but i can barely see them. there was some smokes, you know.. the smokes.. when people are smoking.. yeah. i was walking through this.. dark alley then i sat on a corner, with my back against a wall and facing a wall. brick walls. then i just sat there, listening to music, watching things even though some things arent moving.. then someone just.. cut my skin with a damned cutter. and i just froze.. and looked up. i couldnt see who it was, the person just smiled but i was frowning. i put my mouth over the cut, trying to stop the blood coming out, it was on my upper arm. then i stopped. and said.. "that actually felt nice you know.."
--what the..? it actually hurts, cos i actually felt the cutter cutting myskin myself. the person just walked away and threw the cutter at me. i stared at it.. and as far as i can remember, another person came, and said.. "here, ill do it for you." then she just started cutting my arm and fingers. wtf? o_0 it hurts. duh! i felt it, even though it probably doesnt hurt as much as in real life, but it felt real, and i could actually felt the pain.

aa! its freaky. i cant get the scene off my mind. who cares though.
~`JJe~ <33




new address.

my feet stinks T_T'' --owell thats not the point im posting this. yes, ive changed the address. i might have to start all over again to make people come but i dont care. im hungry. and yeah..

i just wanna get to tomorrow. cos at least i have an activity after school, not completely bored like this. then i wanna fast foward my life and skip friday. then play it back again on saturday morning. wouldnt that be nice..? yes it would.
Saturday.. hopefully will go out somewhere with stephanie and do stuff and shes cutting her hair. and yeah. tomorrow after schools the band practise thing. we'll see if we're actually gonna do a practise or do something else like monday.

~`JJe~ <33




changing address = a chance to have new linkies^^''''

im changing my address. ill tell you why later. if youre on my links out, id be telling you about this by the time ive changed. ill leave this note for a day or 2 or 3 then im changing it. but i aint saying the new address here. if you still wanna read the shits i write.. well, youd have to find me somewhere around the net by yourself. or you can ask me by emailing me sometime, or not. --just figure it out yourself. but the title is still the same; "My so called World"
if you wanna still always keep in touch with me, be my linkies okie?^^ just tell me in my cbox.

'kay thanks. toodles.
~`JJe~ <33




untitled... or maybe not.

gah. --wow i havent used that word for quite a time now. gah gah. gah. GAH!!!^^
hm. i just feel like writing about nothing. *sigh* lifes so boring. and times going so slow yet im not waiting for anything. anything but the end of the year. schools boring too. that made it worse. i cant be bothered pushing more letters on the keyboard.

~`JJe~ <33




and i thought only materials, foods and products that are labelled..

i obviously was wrong. cos so far this year quite a few people has labelled me. once someone said i was normal (i am? well thank you) then a person said i was a punk. well how am i a punk to you huh? then a dude said i was a goth. dont you like black too? well if liking black means youre a goth, then you are too a goth. then a chick on msn called me emo. personally id say im nowhere near emo even though sometimes i listen to the songs, but it doesnt make me one. and do i look and act like an emo to you? --well i didnt think so either. some people actually thinks im those gentle soft feminine goody goody sweety kinda girl. well id say youre very smart if you think thats wrong. then someone thought im a gangster. --when the pigs fly i am.

so lets get it straight okay.. im no goth or emo or skater or normal (oh whoops. i am actually physically and mentally normal.. i think) or hippie or punk or hardcore or any labellings. the only thing that fits me is just MYSELF. okay? there thanks.

now. im completely bored. todays my dads bday. so yeah.. Happy Birthday!

*sigh*

~`JJe~ <33




the only thing i want you to do is leave me alone and piss off.

im feeling down and pissed off right now so stfu and let me complain.
im so sick of people expecting this and that from me. im so sick of people trying to make me feel guilty. im so sick of people judging me this and that when they dont exactly now me that well. im so sick of people telling me what to do and say and whats not to do and say. im so sick of people expecting something else of me. im practically sick of loads of stuff right now.. get the feeling im having right now? no? well stfu and keep reading.

i dont expect people to do something really good to me. i dont expect people to know me well. i dont expect to not be sick of something. but i do expect them to stop trying to know me so very well and try to do something really good to me to make me happy, because believe it or not youre not gonna success and will be disappointed. and you will be sick and tired of me, and you will hate me even more. i also expect for people to stop effing judging me and except me for who i am, not for who i am not.

by now.. you must be thinking some feedbacks to me. but PLEASE stop thinking dont say anything just read. im not trying to make fun or to tell everyone about what made me cranky so that EVERYONE can know and be ashamed of whatever that made me cranky. this is just how i express my feelings. i might react not very nice and nasty, but believe me, its not what it seems to be. if i act so mean all of a sudden, i dont mean to (or maybe i do) and i really appriciate people who actually listens to me instead if firing me back when im trying to express my feelings, because im a person whos not very good at expressing and spilling out what im feeling.

when im down or pissed off.. mind this.. I DONT WANT ANY COMPANY OR PITY FROM ANYONE. i want to be alone and have a time for myself. i might act selfish or careless and always want to have what i want. but isnt everyone? i cant help it. i do care about other people. but i dont show it. so dont you EVER say something like.. "you always think about yourself. nobody else!" NEVER say that to me. or you will be sorry and regret it. why? cos then ill be screaming my lungs out at you.

Yes maybe i do have the weirdest crappiest shittiest worst and strangest personality. but i dont care. i really dont.
--okay.. i was acting stupid. but then again, maybe i want to.
~`JJe~ <33

-Edited-
okay. the whole thing up there is stupid. anyway, i wanna add one more thing from all of those. 'im a fan of linkin park no matter what anyone say to me' =D and check out the new music under the cbox.





stop with the stupid comment crap.

theres an anonymous kept on bugging me with all the comments he/she/it is giving me everyday. i really do like comments and thanx for those whos commenting me. but this is different. the comments are about those stupid poker crap. all the anonymous said was.. "i found information 'here'" yeah, information about poker poker thing. theres some nice comment though, like.. "youre nice! and so is your blog! keep it up. will come back here near the future." or something along those line. yeah well thanx. but some of the comments are repeated in other posts. it annoys me. everytime i open my email after school i find tens of email about comments the anonymous is giving me. once i got 60 in a day! its making my email full of junks. if anyone who comment as 'anonymous' but is not 'the annoying anonymous' and is reading this, sorry. yeah.

by the way. my school is changing uniform and school colour -_-' theres blue and black now.. but no more gold and i think red too. to be honest.. the colours are better. but the uniform is just.. egh. its like a privates school uniform. but worse as my friends says. the new sport shirts are better. but the tunics.. and.. sleeves.. and egh. i think theyre changing the pants too but im not sure. well whatever im not gonna be here anyway cos i think its for next year.

~`JJe~ <33




ehheh...

it rained. today rained T_T'' my whole back was wet. that pig won't come tomorrow to practice cos he has this... rocka thing.. i thought so. ugh right. im doing cooking tomorrow even though we probably wont cook anything tomorrow. and thanks for reminding i have to buy a stupid white apron and cooking hat. no im not in a really good mood though i don't look like im not.

i cut that.. trollz doll's hair thing from happy meal mc donald. it was long and sticking out before but now its spikey and short =] dont blame me, boredom made me do it.
i miss indo. and luckily i'll be going back there on december.. --that made me feel better.. *sigh*
~`JJe~ <33




netball?!

why netball? why do i have to do netball for sport this term? egh. owell, i guess it wont be that bad. anyways. my mood is better than yesterday's but im not that happy as well. in the morning i was still in a really bad mood, but it got better as i went to school, saw friends, concentrated on my works.. and stuff. still rainy and wet today and theres not much things to say. tomorrows thursday; the day i hate. and monday.. i hate that day too. ehhe.. what else shoud i type.. T_T'''
~`JJe~ <33




first day = disaster

hm. it was. well not really, but it sure was boring and shitty. was in a really bad mood the whole day. ugh, dont remind me. the practice thing was crap, and now im not in mood of performing on pesta kampoeng at all. especially cos i was in a really bad mood today and i had to sing?! T_T''''' yeah well, it ended up crap as i thought it would. very crap. pft, im still wondering myself.. can i even sing? *raised an eyebrow* meh. anyway, yeah, im taking history this term and next term.. and no more geography! *spread arms* yay. meh. even though im not the best at history from the class, but hey its better than gegography^^ hm. owell i guess thats it.
~`JJe~ <33





Suicide note.

Please read all of this if you've decided to do it. Life is impossible. Suicide is your way out. Fine -- but before you kill yourself, consider these facts:

Suicide is not usually successful.

You know a guaranteed way? Ask the 25yr old who tried to electrocute himself. He lived. But, both of his arms are gone.
What about jumping? Ask John. He used to be intelligent, with an engaging sence of humor. That was before he lept from a building. Now, he's brain damaged and will always need care. He staggers and has seizures. He lives in a fog. But, worst of all, he knows he used to be normal.
What about pills? Ask the 12yr old with extensive liver damage from an overdose. Have you ever seen anyone die of liver damage? You turn yellow. It's a hard way to go.
What about a gun? Ask the 24yd old who shot himself in the head. Now he drags one leg, has a useless arm and has no vision or hearing on one side. He lived through his "foolproof" suicide.

You might too. But .. who will clean your blood off the carpet or scrape your brains from the ceiling? Commercial cleaning companies may refuse the job -- but someone has to do it. Who will cut you down from where you hung yourself, or identify your bloated body after you've drowned? Your father? Your mother? Your sister or brother? The carefully worded "loving" suicide note is of no help. Those who loved you will never completely recover. They'll feel regret and an unending pain.

Suicide is contagious. Look around your family. You do have other choices. There are people you can help you through this crisis. Call a hotline. Call a friend. Call a doctor or hospital. Call the police. They will tell you there's hope. Maybe in a phone call this weekend. But what you're seeking could be just a minute, a month, or a day away.
You say you don't want to be stopped? Still want to do it? Well, then, I may see you in the psychiatric ward later. And we'll work with whatever you have left.

If you are reading this, steal it and put it in your site too. If you're seriously considering this permanent solution to a temporary problem, please find help. This isn't the way to go, you may think that everyone would just be better off without you, but have you ever seen a family who has lost a loved one to suicide? They're messed up, the parents usually get divorced, the siblings never talk to each other. This not only ends your life, it changes the lives of others around you, but not in a good way. There are people who love you, and people who have been through the same things as you, even though it may not seem like it at times. So please, seek help.


& I hope you have realized ;; Suicide's not the way out. there are so many other safer ways of dealing with your problems. Maybe you think it's easier to just die. But think of what you are giving up. you're leaving your family, friends, and all the people who care about you and love you. And maybe you're not even that old yet, you have to experience life, find true love, that kind of stuff. Killing yourself isn't going to help. That's just running away from your problems, it's not solving anything, it's not making it better.

I know i can't convince you to not commit suicide, but just please think about everything a little before you do anything.

There's always someone who will be there for you to talk things through even if it seems like no one is there for you. Everything will get better, and it will be okay.

So whenever you are going to pick up that knife, or razor, just think about all the people you are leaving behind, all the memories, and all the good times.

I guess sometimes everybody feels like they want to die at lease once in their life. And you think there is no other way, just read this over.

Remember:
You live to have fun, and joke around ;; Not to be depressed. I know depression isn't an easy thing to get over, but it is possible..

~`JJe~ <33





"have you seen my pizza?"

i sleptover at dev's for 2 nights. it was so funny. we had a practice today and that pasher pasha finally came. we ate pizzas and dev threw a piece at another unit's balcony. when all of us were going home, we knocked on the unit where dev threw the pizza, and i was supposed to say.. "urm hello, have you seen my pizza? i think it fell on your balcony." but when a lady opened the door, i was nervous and dev and pig just ran away. i was thinking to just walk away, but that'll be dumb, and she'll think im a freak. so i just stood there, stumbling and not knowing what to say. then pasha saved me.
pasha: "oh urm hi.. my friend.. she.. she accidently threw a pizza and fell to your balcony.."
the lady: "urm.. yeah. okay."
pasha: "yeah.. just to let you know.."
then the lady said thanks and closed the door. i was holding my laugh. it was hilarious. then we just went down by the lift laughing our ass off. other things happened. like when me and dev showed the boys the photos that we took yesterday night. wondering what photos?

--yesterday night we couldnt sleep. we could but we were bored and couldnt be bothered to sleep anyway. so we played with make ups and put some mascaras and lipsticks and stuff on our face. we ended up like.. like.. weird.. gothic.. geishas. lmao. ha. ill show yous one of the pictures later. theyre all funny. once.. i kept on overlaying the outerline of the so called eyeliner around my left eye which actually is mascara since we dont have any eyeliner (pft, i know, pathetic) then it got higher and nearly touched my eyebrow. so then i decided to just colour the whole thing until my eyebrow with black. so i did. well i asked dev to make it neater. when she said she was finished.. i turned around and looked at the mirror. then the funny thing happened..
me: "ah! ahh!! my eyebrow! its gone! i dont an eyebrow!!!"
dev: "i'll draw one for you, on top of it"
so then she did. and it ended up hilarious. it was like i was raising an eyebrow. it looked redicilous(sp?) --well yeah. i guess thats about it. well theres more funny things happened, but yeah. thats it. im done, i ccant be bothered typing more stuff.
~`JJe~ <33




a weird day

cut my hair today. similar style and just shorter. shoulder length. and yeah, its good. today was just weird thats all i can say. i aint saying the details here, cos i cant be bothered. it was funny as well though. tomorrows that practice thing for pesta kampoeng. not much to say. well there are some stuff i can say actually. but i just wont bother. now i wanna go play games at orisinal.com so yeah im done.
~`JJe~ <33




the dead man's chest

yeah, yesterday i watched pirates of the carribean 2 the dead mans chest with dev. it was good. funny. nice. i like it, even though the first one is more understandable. jack sparrow will die in the end, --ohh woops.. i shouldnt have mentioned that. owell, im not gonna tell how, youre gonna have to watch it yourself. i added something in here. music. its under the cbox. press play if you wanna hear it. im cutting my hair today. so yeah. i dunno what else to say. im bored.
~`JJe~ <33




Homework!

okay. za gave me a homework to do. and im going to do it in indonesian. here it goes.

[x.- 4 pekerjaan yang pernah dijalani -.x]
1. numpahin 'wasabi' ke punggung bapak2 di bus ama temen.
2. lari nyebrang jalan raya gede yang rame banget dan banyak mobil cuma untuk ngambil bola tenis temenku. hampir ketubruk T_T''''
3. nipu cowok yang gak dikenal lewat chatting terus ngajak ketemuan di hari sabtu ama temen2ku, tapi kita biarin nunggu aja di mall sendirian sampe bt.
4. maen air di Darling Harbour ama temen2 sampe basah gila2an. (basah2an di tempat umum gitu sampe diliatin orang. kayak semacem di air pancuran)

[x.- 4 tempat yang pernah di tinggalin -.x]
1. Indonesia.
2. Bandung.
3. Bali.
4. Sydney, Australia.

[x.- 4 film yang paling berkesan -.x]
1. Narnia.
2. Pirates of The Carribean 1&2
3. The New Emperor's Groove!
4. God Must be Carzy 2

[x.- 4 acara tv yang sering di tonton -.x]
1. Iron Cheff.
2. The Shak.
3. The Simpson..?
4. erm... apa yah? aku seringnya nonton film2 sih.. mm... gak ada lagi deh. pass.

[x.- 4 makanan favorit -.x]
1. aku punya banyak banget favorit makanan.. tapi yang paling favorit sih.. SUSHI!
2. udah gitu.. Twisted Cookie dari Pretzel World.
3. ayam bakar mentega.. heheh..
4. last but not least.. erm... buah2an. hm.. makanan kan?^^'

[x.- 4 halaman maya yang sering di akses -.x]
1. hotmail & yahoo.. pokoknya email2an.
2. blogger.
3. friendster. sekarang baru mulai punya.. klo mau add aku tanya aku aja.
4. google.

[x.- 4 orang yang harus nerusin ini -.x]
eh.. aku pilih deh.. tapi orang2 indo smua.. jadi..
1. Devita. -- dev, you gotta do it, i dont know who else to pick =_='''
2. Finkz. -- heheh^^ aku gak tau harus siapa lagi..
3. erm.. Claudia aja deh.. -- alesannya sama ama yang diatas.
4. errmm.... siapa ya?? Ria! -- alesan sama ama yang di atas juga..

okies.. thats it. now im too lazy to type more stuff.
~`JJe~ <33




my new smell? that's sweet.

no practice thing today, no one came. and my phone at home went off cos the bloody cable was loosen. owell, my brother fixed it anyway. surprisingly, im not so bored now cos i just watched Catch That Kid for the second time and am (well my brother actually) is watching Balto 2 and am also doing The Brain Test. pfft. owell. we're having the practice thing on Tuesday instead at 2 at my house i think. i dunno. hm.. oh and yeah.. about the title.. tehee..
yeah, you know how i told you i gotta go cos i wanna know if my dad got the deodorant i want in the last post.. yeah well he didnt exactly got it cos there wasnt any of the ones i want.. ha. but he bought 3 of the different ones cos he was confused. hmm.. and well.. theyre all sort of girly, but i dont mind, better than not. im using the nicest one, cos the smell is not really that sharp. but it seems like the smell is.. SWEET! hahah. im just so sweet.. just like my new deodorant T_T' ok thats lame. but yeah whatever. another reason im using that one is because that the smell is bali-ish and it reminds me of bali, and i like bali^^' ok.. cross out the sweet and change it to 'weird' dont ya think itll suit me better?

meh, whatever, im just getting bored again. yeah thats right, cos i cant believe myself that im actually talking about just a deodorant in a post. --ahahaha.. i feel so lame.. T_T''''
~`JJe~ <33




mm..

im bored. as usual. yesterday we started working on the performance for the pesta kampoeng thing. then our back vocalist decided to quit. so we're gonna have to do more stuff to find another back vocalist. we've also started finding a place to hire the drum kit and bass guitar. instead of fundraiser, we're gonna ask some sponsor ship^^ so yeah. we'll be a little more busy as well when school starts, cos then TPA will start again and we need to ask some kids from tpa to be the kids who holds the flags infront of us while we play the song Bendera by Coklat. and when we finished performing it, the kids gonna have to run to the audience and give out a flag to any of the audience. hm.. there'll be another practice today at my house at 4 to about 7 i think. i dunno. thats it the plan for today, i'll probably be bumming around the internet before people come over and play ps with mahatma T_T boring. oh and of course take a shower since i havent had one, heheh. and some other stuff. i cant wait to cut my hair, this hair im having is annoying me, its too long for me. now, my dad is here and i wanna see if he got the deodorant i want =P
~`JJe~ <33




in a second thought.. it might.

compared to last night, everything seems to flipped back to normal. and the thoughts that came to me last night seems to have ways to solve it. that includes the Pesta Kampoeng thing even though i sort of still doubt it will, but maybe, just maybe, it will work perfectly fine. and thats what im gonna try to do; to make it works perfectly fine.. about my pants.. it seems like yesterday they just shrink and i grew bigger all of a sudden o_0 but today.. after i went through my wardrobe, i still found about 4 pants that i can use outside house. some of em i still can use it, but theyre just isnt my style and i wouldnt dare wearing it outside the house, maybe just at home when i have nothing to do. for the pesta kampoeng thing.. i found 2 black pants thats too short for me now, but since im gonna need a 3/4 black pants.. i can stitch it to 3/4 pants and do some stuff like stitches with it. yeah.. believe it or not.. i can stitch alot better than before now. ha, thanks DT. i have about 4 pants and 3 tops that i cant wear and isnt gonna be very useful anymore, and i probably have more but i cant be bothered looking through my wardrobe anymore. about cutting my hair.. i found 10 bucks in my wallet that im not gonna dare to touch until i got my weekly money on monday. after monday, i can cut my hair. or i might as well use the 10 bucks, and ask my mum if i can cut my hair with her money, and if she thinks its gonna be too expensive, i can add it with my own money, heheh^^

even though some stuff that im not mentioning in this blog isnt working that well, i at least feel better about it. maybe i needed some sleep last night, pfft. owell.. im gonna need to take a shower now. i stink.
~`JJe~ <33




its not gonna work out.. or will it?

aaargh! somehow my mood change alot today.. and right now im in a real bad mood. i was a couple of hours ago. but then i decided to distract my attention to something else, so i looked around for a good winamp skin to download and for some reason i was browsing through google, searching linkin park and found funny pictures of em and a good winamp skin. well that worked, it sort of distracted my attention and changed my mood to just.. normal. but what happened to my mood now? huh? HUH?! it friken flipped 180%! --i feel like swearing around for some reason T_T''' owell.. lets see if blogging can at least make me feel better.

first of.. i wanna cut my hair, theyre getting thicker and longer, and it annoys me. i want a new jumper or hoodie cos that bloody jumper i have right now is getting too small and you can see my belly if i lift my arms just a little, which is friken annoying. i run out of pants, theyre either broken, or theyre too short for me, or it cant fit on my waist (oh ye i know i should be happy cos hey, i'm effing growing! *rolls eyes*) im always dying out of boredom if im at home doing nothing, but then if i go out somewhere it needs money and hey, im saving money here remember? hell yeah. the phone at home is broken, and dont say anything but i dont have a mobile. so.. my mum bought a new awesome wireless phone which cost hell alot of money so she ran out of money automatically, but not until next monday. besides, i have to wait a long time until i can buy new clothes. im glad im still growing (pfft.. duh!) but thats the thing.. i got less clothes to wear.. yeah i care about my appearance more than before now. i have a lot to do for Pesta Kampoeng's performance, but.. THOSE FRIKEN LAZY ASS HOLES CANT GET THEIR LAZY ASSES TO WORK!! so i have to wait.. T_T well they might have something else to do but theyre pissing me off! ARGH! loads of things are coming up to my head. and something which i dont know what is just.. making me.. argh! it makes me feel uncomfortable and have this unbareably.. undescribeably.. horrible feeling! *sighs in frustration* .... *screams*

--okay.. that feels better. thanks for reading. youre my life saver! i would have thrown myself out of the window if i cant spill like this. ha. jokes. of course not, im not that stupid. oh hey, look im feeling better now.. im joking around. heh.. =P owells. this is enough.. i feel much better.
~`JJe~ <33




hmm..

damn im so bored. very bored. i cant be bothered doing anything though. but im bored. ugh i hate this feeling. theres no one whos on worth chatting to. lets see if blogging will unbored me.
yesterday was sort of funny. i laughed alot. just like every other days ive spent with dev; somehow everything seems to be so amusing. well most of the time anyway. yesterday's story was at bondi. we dont go there often, so yesterday we decided to go there. we got lost for a couple of times. we went to dangerfield there also. and to this red guitar shop at oxford street to see amps. yesterday was also the day how dev nearly got hit by a taxi, yes a stupid taxi drove by this chinese dude when we were crossing the road. theres loads more stories, and in all of the stories we laughed. but i cant be bothered typing em all down, and besides, you'd be sleeping when im finished. yeah. im done. this post sure is boring. but at least ive got some stuff to type down.
~`JJe~ <33




between july and september^^

im completely bored right now, so im gonna write some stuff in this blog. now i know, after searching in the internet for quite a time, that linkin park will released their new album later this year between July and September!^^ but i still dont know anything about that tour thing, some people might just make it up to make the fans excited T_T''''' --they said that the new album will be different than the previous ones; "'It's dark and spooky, poppy and very melodic,' says Bennington. 'Not a hard, heavy rock record. What it is, is f**king insane!'" (got it from that Wikipedia thing, heheh^^''') tehee.. i cant wait.. XD --i dont like.. LOVE them, but i do think their awesome. some people i know thinks their gay, but i dont give a damn =P i do admire other bands too you know, like evanescence, panic! at the disco and some indonesian and other bands..

ugh.. meh. im just so bored, you mustve sick reading the shits i write here. i need drink btw, so you can stop reading and be glad.
~`JJe~ <33




rest.

these days, i havent been in mood of typing stuff on blogs. so im gonna take rest and type when i want to. holidays finally arrived and i went to the movies with dev watching the fast and furious 3 and well yeah. im so out of date, but i heard that linkin park is going to launch a new album later this year and have a trip afterwards, that includes to australia. if anyone knows anything about it, cos im not sure, tell mee!^^ cos i hate being not knowing whats going on specially when theyre actually my favourite band.. so please help me out of this misery! (not) =_='''''''''''''''' well tell me if you do anyway. i cant be bothered to write more stuff, so i'll let you's to have a rest on reading my blogs and myself to write in this blog.

~`JJe~ <33