Thursday, July 27, 2006
i hope i can stop, rewind, fast foward and repeat the favourite scenes in this damn life. i wish! yes, infact, i do wish so. i really do. my mood and everything gotten worse by the day for some reason.. T_T'' last night was the effing third time i dreamt of falling. first one was somewhere around last week. then the day after that. then last night. damnit. im so bored of that tingly feeling you have in your tummy when youre falling down from a tall height. cos in those three dreams, i can actually feel myself falling even though i sort of knew it was a dream. but i couldnt opened my eyes when i wanted to o_0 okieay.. last night was worse than just falling actually. when i was about to hit the ground, again i woke up, but then i realised it was still dark outside. so.. cant be bothered checking what time, i fell back asleep. then in my dream, i was in a dark alley with er.. weird people. but i can barely see them. there was some smokes, you know.. the smokes.. when people are smoking.. yeah. i was walking through this.. dark alley then i sat on a corner, with my back against a wall and facing a wall. brick walls. then i just sat there, listening to music, watching things even though some things arent moving.. then someone just.. cut my skin with a damned cutter. and i just froze.. and looked up. i couldnt see who it was, the person just smiled but i was frowning. i put my mouth over the cut, trying to stop the blood coming out, it was on my upper arm. then i stopped. and said.. "that actually felt nice you know.." --what the..? it actually hurts, cos i actually felt the cutter cutting myskin myself. the person just walked away and threw the cutter at me. i stared at it.. and as far as i can remember, another person came, and said.. "here, ill do it for you." then she just started cutting my arm and fingers. wtf? o_0 it hurts. duh! i felt it, even though it probably doesnt hurt as much as in real life, but it felt real, and i could actually felt the pain. aa! its freaky. i cant get the scene off my mind. who cares though. ~`JJe~ <33
2:13 AM
Just don't let me fall asleep, feeling empty again
