Monday, August 21, 2006
the title i dont know. i dont even know why im posting this. i miss those times. when my house was still so fresh and comfortable with my icy big brother playing on Muse and My Chemical Romance and those bands and playing along and singing along with it. i miss how my house used to be so cold with not that much cocroaches and how i had my own room. i wasnt as stupid as i am now. i didnt make such stupid big mistakes. i was wiser actually. even though i was still kiddish and even though i like my style now better. but i dont like myself. im ashamed of myself -.-' i dont like the crappy stupid things ive done. but owell. i miss ria. and i miss how sometimes i got so jealous of her that shes taller than me and how she fits a nice slim and tall clothes. (oh whoa.. 'slim' now, dont think im fat. im just.. yeah, well kinda skinny and small in shape) and how sometimes i whail infront of her. and how i tried so hard to be tall. i give up now though. i see no point. pft. owell. egh. things has changed. even myself and the people around me. and the situation around me and nearly everything. some people thinks i got influenced. but seriously, whats the deal when people changes? they themselves changed too. i seriously dont know what to do. things are so boring -.-' and aa.. what have i done on friday?! --no i havent got over it. i still feel really cold. and i feel.. balksafhidaeo;lhiihytd$%^&)!!!! that i was so quiet today and everyone asked me if i was okay. even a friend said to me.. "are you okay? you dont seem to be like normally.." i was like.. "oh so im abnormal now eh?" and she was.. "haha no. i mean.. you're like.. different.. like weird and depressed" whoa. thanx. that helped. all i did was smiled weakly. i tried to smile anyway. pft. aint things getting better by the day? *rolls eyes* gah. lets joke around and be happy now. and lets get this bad mood done and over with. geh.
~`JJe~ <33
2:49 AM
Just don't let me fall asleep, feeling empty again
