Sunday, May 27, 2007
It's over.Hurts, but I'm glad. I'm happy. But also pissed. This feeling of wanting to break his skin.What does it matter though... I don't care anymore. The sms of him saying he's starting to regret what he did/said doesn't really works. & Instead I felt satisfied. Not because there's a chance of it coming back, but because if there is a chance, I want to break it in front of his face. But then the feeling of guilty came up. & Once again I'd be thoughtless, lost & not knowing what to do again. At the same time, I still want to teach him a lesson. Make him look through my point of view. I can
be cruel. I'm upset. & Trust me, I don't get upset easily. From the first place, I knew & had a feeling it wasn't gonna work out. I didn't want to end something without a reasong. So I waited until he realised it himself. I didn't even push away when I needed to. He's not aware of what he makes me feel. He made me feel like I deserved it. If you think you made sacrifices for what we got, then you don't know what sacrifices are.I'm not the kind of person who grieve about such things. Well, most of the time, no. & Especially thinking about how I don't care about him. I know myself, hating or loving is practically a similar thing; it's an obsession. & I don't want to be obsessed over him. I guess the best thing is not to care, which I don't. He starres like he doesn't care, but he does though. I wish I was heartless, so even though I know I am, and people hate me. It wouldn't matter, cos I won't feel a thing. & I'd be the one who won't care at all.Anyhow, it doesn't bother me much. Cos I'm glad it's done. I'm glad I was smart enough to take the first step, before he did. He had the intention to rip what he sew. But I did it for him. Be thankful. & No, I did not drop a tear. I'm better off without him.
<33Labels: life, unlabelled
6:39 AM
Just don't let me fall asleep, feeling empty again
